Blended Scotch
Purchase Price: Generally $160--200
Place of Purchase: By the glass in several different places
Rating: 8.1
I'm probably one of the few people strolling the planet who's had a FULL bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue THROWN at them. Last December, I bore witness to a bunch of skateboard punks relieving some businessman-type guy of his belongings, shortly after beating him down to the sidewalk. One of the items they nabbed was a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue--perhaps a client or business partner had given it to their victim for Christmas? In any case, these kids must have been straight-edge or single malt snobs because they heaved this most famous of blends my way without so much as blinking an eye. Even being the most overpriced, overhyped scotch out there, it really didn't deserve that sort of treatment. Luckily for my well-being, the kid who threw it wasn't quite ready to give Brett Favre or even Trent Dilfer a run for his money so I escaped with some "minor splashing" on the lower parts of my Z. Cavaricci trousers. The businessman was a bit more unfortunate, he was blubbering like a girl after his overcoat had been pulled over his head and the sleeves tied up around his noggin like the bow on a wedding gift. Did I mention that Johnnie Walker Blue is overpriced and overhyped? If you want to drop $200 on a blend, Chivas Regal Royal Salute is the only way to go. And it comes in a beautiful ceramic vessel that even the most cretinous teenager would think twice about destroying.
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