Mark Twain

Bourbon
Purchase Price: $9 (1L)
Place of Purchase: Chalet Premier Wines - North Lima, OH
Rating: 7.1

Mark Twain is one of those weird brands you see pop up every once in awhile that makes you pause for a moment. No marketing, no advertising, no "word on the street." It's just there, sitting on the bottom shelf saying "I'm 9 bucks for a liter!! Try me!! If you don't like me you can turn me upside down over the kitchen sink!! Try me!!" Standing half a mile away from the world-famous trucks stops on Route 7 in North Lima, Ohio, it was a siren call I couldn't resist. I lugged it back to NY and, well, not very surprisingly, Mark Twain dances across the tongue like a fistful of Red Hots—those cinnamon candies beloved by masochistic children except that Mark Twain doesn’t taste the least bit like cinnamon. More like ethanol. It's a one-dimensional "cheap licker" that can easily be used as a mixer or if you need something to clean the bottom of your shoes.